It still hurts. It has been two years and it still hurts. And the lies of everyone keep going on. They told me there is a brave new world outside. I have traversed it I have only found worse thing.
My own kin condemned her. Now the pieces have fallen onto their places. My kin has paid his words and he has faced a woman that is really "evil".
I was told to go out. I went out and I have only met women that live from sucking your blood from you. That is what I have met and the few who don't, well I simple have not find one that makes my heart live.
I have gone outside and I have only faced defeat after defeat. But I think it is Ok because I have not really liked or loved anyone so even if I obtain succes there will be no healing for my soul. What purpose does hunting as a sport serves? I have also realised that is "relatevily easy".
No, I still yearn for a dream. Impossible to fulfill.
They say I am alright, yet they search for the same. If I am alright they should just let things be as they are and then though would have the authority to halt me. They say that I should not grow desperate, but will never understand what is to have nothing, or a better way to say it, not have ever had something.
Promises of a brave new world for me. Only lies. And the the world's, my friend's, my kin's, my bosses', and everyone's else lies keep going on.
How long I am supposed to wait to know what it feels?
I only live because I am artificially kept alive.
"All I wanted was a piece of the night, but I never got my equal share."
viernes, 9 de noviembre de 2007
miércoles, 12 de septiembre de 2007
Ah, all of you. Come and see, come and see how your lies keep going on. I once again had faith and once again I have met deception and despair. I am tired, too tired. Forgive me,, truly it is not me, it cannot be me. Accpeting that would be accepting I am, I have been, I' ve always been broken and I have always been a loser. No, it is not me, I am one of a kind, a breed this world is not worth having. It cannot be me, it is just destiny, it is the stars, luck, God's will, I do not know, but it cannot be me, it cannot. The order of things was just not designerd for one as me, this is a world of lies. Lies and nothing more. This is a world of lies. Everyone has lied to me, they keep on liying, wither to make me feel better or to share there visions, but they lie, everyone lies. They lie to sink me and sink me they will for hte world is with them and not with me. Ah the sweet taste of defeat. Just when I was about to forget you.
Burn me, burn me in the pits of hell.
I just wish to end all the pain in the world. To end it I have to end all.
Burn me, burn me in the pits of hell.
I just wish to end all the pain in the world. To end it I have to end all.
sábado, 8 de septiembre de 2007
Para variar ando triste. No puedo calmarme con ejercicio porque no puedo ir al gimnasio debido a mi operación de apendice. Estoy en carmen. Etoy develandome para un concurso de Pemex,. Me tienen comiendo para mantenerme despierto, y con tanto trabajo que me ha costado mantener lo que bajo con la operación. Arreglar mi dentadura me sale en 16000 varos. Le tire el can a una vieja aquí, para variar tuve un "extraordinario desempeño"
Notese que hoy TODO mundo me hablo para ver si haciamos algo hoy allá en casa, en el DF.
Quiero ir a mi casa a jugar Zelda: The Twilight Princess pero volvere hasta el martes. Creo que debo adquirir Eternal Sonata para XBOX 360 y Folklore para mi PS3.
Notese que hoy TODO mundo me hablo para ver si haciamos algo hoy allá en casa, en el DF.
Quiero ir a mi casa a jugar Zelda: The Twilight Princess pero volvere hasta el martes. Creo que debo adquirir Eternal Sonata para XBOX 360 y Folklore para mi PS3.
martes, 14 de agosto de 2007
Shine
The story I am going to tell actually happened. It all happened a few weeks ago. I arrived to my office as usual but that morning I woke up in sadness. That is not the fantastic part of the story, that has become quite common for the last years, though that day as specially intense.
I decided to hide the sadness for I am sure everyone is weary of someone always whinning, you see, someone just has to accept his destiny, so I simple acted as I always do. I was polite and smiled and cheered and joked. A couple of hours later a message in the electronic messenger appeared. It was a message from the girl that was, or still is but I am unsure of that, hitting on me. She said "What's wrong with you?" I thought she was imagining things because I was acting quite normal, I did not exaggerate happiness to hide something thus catching someones suspicion nor did I showed sadness. I asked her what made her think something is wrong. She simply answered that my eyes did not shine.
My eyes stopped shinning some time ago. What can someone do about that? When your eyes will not shine. I still wonder how did she realized that, no one else did. No one. I guess I have managed to hide the sadness becasue she has not asked again but it could be that I have manged to distrct her too. We'll see.
I decided to hide the sadness for I am sure everyone is weary of someone always whinning, you see, someone just has to accept his destiny, so I simple acted as I always do. I was polite and smiled and cheered and joked. A couple of hours later a message in the electronic messenger appeared. It was a message from the girl that was, or still is but I am unsure of that, hitting on me. She said "What's wrong with you?" I thought she was imagining things because I was acting quite normal, I did not exaggerate happiness to hide something thus catching someones suspicion nor did I showed sadness. I asked her what made her think something is wrong. She simply answered that my eyes did not shine.
My eyes stopped shinning some time ago. What can someone do about that? When your eyes will not shine. I still wonder how did she realized that, no one else did. No one. I guess I have managed to hide the sadness becasue she has not asked again but it could be that I have manged to distrct her too. We'll see.
martes, 24 de julio de 2007
Omens
Once upon a time there was a boy. He was lively and funny and mischivious, as most boys. He was starting to grow into teenage youngster, in the last year of his elementary school there were a couple of girls he liked. It is the age when you start to actually like girls.
One day he was asked who he liked and he, mature in some ways and stupid in others, answered truthfully. A class later, during recess his young and immature friends grabbed him. The boy was tall and heavy so this was done between several classmates, who obviously had this planned. They dragged the boy to the corner of the classroom where one of the girls he liked seated. He was red but he resisted and managed to stop in the back of the classroom. His technique was simple, if they wanted to take him they would have to carry him. He decided to sit over a desk. This was foolish when he thought about it after all the incident finished because after he seated he was pushed and fell lying backwards over the desk. In the meantime while all tis happened other group of classmates had been a vanguard and went to this girl to tell her about this boy's feelings.
The boy was already lying on the desk, and kept that way by his classmates, the girls slowly walked towards this ruckus. Once next to the boy and the ones that held him she leaned and said; "Yes." Then she leaned a littel more and kissed the boy on his cheek. Then she was all red too and left the classroom running.
The boys said afterwards that su actually tried to kiss the boy in the mouth but she missed becasue of the boy's struggle to break free of their grip.
The boy was unsure what to do. He was overwhelmend with awkwardness. He was unsure if he wanted a girlfriend, he was usure he of what that meant, he was unsure what to do. His other asked him that afternoon if he had a girlfriend because she herd a rumor. He denied it. He was afraid so he simply ingnored the girl.
That story is almost normal. When someone faces this situations without experience, and also being young, that tends to happen still years later the boy kept two thing in mind, the first one was that he felt a bit a guilt because he was not sure if he hurt the girl's feeling but that is something he will never know. The third one is that he believes that that was some sort of omen. An omen of all the failures that were to come.
One day he was asked who he liked and he, mature in some ways and stupid in others, answered truthfully. A class later, during recess his young and immature friends grabbed him. The boy was tall and heavy so this was done between several classmates, who obviously had this planned. They dragged the boy to the corner of the classroom where one of the girls he liked seated. He was red but he resisted and managed to stop in the back of the classroom. His technique was simple, if they wanted to take him they would have to carry him. He decided to sit over a desk. This was foolish when he thought about it after all the incident finished because after he seated he was pushed and fell lying backwards over the desk. In the meantime while all tis happened other group of classmates had been a vanguard and went to this girl to tell her about this boy's feelings.
The boy was already lying on the desk, and kept that way by his classmates, the girls slowly walked towards this ruckus. Once next to the boy and the ones that held him she leaned and said; "Yes." Then she leaned a littel more and kissed the boy on his cheek. Then she was all red too and left the classroom running.
The boys said afterwards that su actually tried to kiss the boy in the mouth but she missed becasue of the boy's struggle to break free of their grip.
The boy was unsure what to do. He was overwhelmend with awkwardness. He was unsure if he wanted a girlfriend, he was usure he of what that meant, he was unsure what to do. His other asked him that afternoon if he had a girlfriend because she herd a rumor. He denied it. He was afraid so he simply ingnored the girl.
That story is almost normal. When someone faces this situations without experience, and also being young, that tends to happen still years later the boy kept two thing in mind, the first one was that he felt a bit a guilt because he was not sure if he hurt the girl's feeling but that is something he will never know. The third one is that he believes that that was some sort of omen. An omen of all the failures that were to come.
miércoles, 27 de junio de 2007
Uno más para la Lista.
¡¡¡¡¡ME CARGA LA /&"$&/&"/$&=&&"Q$!"!!!!! ¡¡¡¡ME &"$/( EN LA(/)"&$/(&·?!!!!!
Perdón, me tenia que deshaogar. Esta mañana saliendo para la oficina le pegue al coche, NUEVO, de mi madre en LA COCHERA de mi casa. El rapson y la abollada estuvieron feones. No sé como paso. En serio. Un punto más a mi curriculum de raspones. No sé como le hago pero siempre madreo los coches. Estoy salado y bastante hasta la madre. Hay complot. Me cae de madres que si hay complot.
A ver hare un resumen de los daños que he hecho a autos:
Taurus: Raspon costa a costa con la puerta electrica de mi cochera.
Mystyque: Raspon costa a costa con un auto en una calle.
Camioneta BM: Un golpesito en la defensa trasera.
Misma camioneta: Le tire un retrovisor.
Pick up BM: Le pegue y le descuadre la defensa.
Misma Pick Up: Raspon costa a costa con la entrada del taller donde le arreglaron la descuadrada de la defensa.
Camioneta roja BM: Se atoro en la arena en ciudad del Carmeny se le trona la caja de velocidades.
Civic: Golpe contra la jardinera de casa de Gaby. Terrible golpe a la facia delantera.
Civic: Golpesito que le qubro la defensa trasera.
Civic de mama. La di un madraso a su facia delantera el día de hoy.
Lapso en los que han sucedido estos accidentes: 7 años.
Sieta años once accidentes. Lo que quiere decir que tengo una tasa anual de 1.57 accidentes por año. Lo que representa un fuerte inversión en reparaciones y/o seguros.
¿Saben? Nunca he lastimado un auto en esta alcohólico. ¿Ironico no?
Espero que en algún momento de este año tenga algo postivo que postear.
Perdón, me tenia que deshaogar. Esta mañana saliendo para la oficina le pegue al coche, NUEVO, de mi madre en LA COCHERA de mi casa. El rapson y la abollada estuvieron feones. No sé como paso. En serio. Un punto más a mi curriculum de raspones. No sé como le hago pero siempre madreo los coches. Estoy salado y bastante hasta la madre. Hay complot. Me cae de madres que si hay complot.
A ver hare un resumen de los daños que he hecho a autos:
Taurus: Raspon costa a costa con la puerta electrica de mi cochera.
Mystyque: Raspon costa a costa con un auto en una calle.
Camioneta BM: Un golpesito en la defensa trasera.
Misma camioneta: Le tire un retrovisor.
Pick up BM: Le pegue y le descuadre la defensa.
Misma Pick Up: Raspon costa a costa con la entrada del taller donde le arreglaron la descuadrada de la defensa.
Camioneta roja BM: Se atoro en la arena en ciudad del Carmeny se le trona la caja de velocidades.
Civic: Golpe contra la jardinera de casa de Gaby. Terrible golpe a la facia delantera.
Civic: Golpesito que le qubro la defensa trasera.
Civic de mama. La di un madraso a su facia delantera el día de hoy.
Lapso en los que han sucedido estos accidentes: 7 años.
Sieta años once accidentes. Lo que quiere decir que tengo una tasa anual de 1.57 accidentes por año. Lo que representa un fuerte inversión en reparaciones y/o seguros.
¿Saben? Nunca he lastimado un auto en esta alcohólico. ¿Ironico no?
Espero que en algún momento de este año tenga algo postivo que postear.
jueves, 21 de junio de 2007
Ok ok Basta
Por favor, no quiero escuchar un solo "esa no" o equivalentes de tu parte. Quiero suponer que lo haces porque no quieres que me aferre y me lastime o algo así, sin embargo lo único que logras por el modo en que lo dices es ponerme a pesar mal. ¿Por´que? En nuestra última conversación ni siquiera era el tema y lo metiste de inmediato, sin dudarlo y directamente en la conversación. Tal vez soy yo el traumado, no lo dudo, pero eso avala aun más el favor que pido. Para que quede de manera contundente como un gran problema, la manera en que me lo recuerdas, te voy a a decir que me haces recordar o suponer.
Que siguen ocultandome algo. ¿Que podria ser ese algo? Aquí es donde entran mis conjeturas traumaticas, tal vez mi propia carne se la cojío despues de todo. Sí, eso haria un peor mi dolor porque me recuerdas que mi propia sangre me jugo, quiero pensar que inocentemente, chueco, que cualquiera puede bajarme o ganarme una vieja por puro deporte (Y eso no lo supongo ya que en el caso en cuestión es puro deporte, porque adivina a cena de que "pedida de mano" fui el sabado pasado), que soy incapaz de hacer vibrar o sentir exitación o emoción etc. a una mujer que me guste, que definitivamente la persistencia es una virtud inutil y por lo tanto no deberia ser virtud, que existe el destino y que estoy muy jodido, que unos nacimos para ser mega cuates pero nunca amantes, que me tendre que conformar con lo que la vida me lanzé (y esas es otra historia que te contare en otra oacsión) y que no tengo derecho a pelear palmo a palmo lo que amo y mejor no le sigo porque si me voy a ver muy, pero muy enfermo.
No te estoy pidiendo explicaciones, que me digas si me esconden algo o no, no estoy diciendo que me están escondiendo algo, ni te estoy reclamando nada. Solo te estoy pidiendo que por favor trates de algún modo evitar recordarme todos mis mentados traumas. Tal vez solo no metiendola tan repentinamente saquemos esto adelante.
Sí, aun me pregunto a que santo bailarle o a que demonio venderle mi alma para poder al menos una vez en mi vida mandarle un mensaje cachondo y que me conteste como se supone le contesto a él o al menos a un a vieja que me guste. Tal véz así salga un poco del problema, no tenga que ceder siempre yo con las viejas y salir de putas.
Sí, estoy bsucando por doquier, lastima que mi pinche Pepe Grillo no me deja hacerlo por puritito deporte. Sabes, el que mejor esfuerzo por ayudarme lo ha hecho mi compa, me ha presentado varias chicas. Lo que si no es culpa mía ni de ellas ni de nadie es que simplmente no termino de encontrar alguien que me llene de alegría. Es más para que quede esto muy claro, como te explico, o mejor dicho te recuerdo, que esas han llegado a mi vida de manera muy escasa y que ninguna me ha hecho caso jámas. Si, dicen que es mejor haber amado una vez que nunca. Pero deberian complementar la frase, haber amado y ser correspondido una vez a nunca. Lástima que no es mi caso.
Parece que es cierto lo que dicean los reyes de antaño, esto es por derechos divinos. Sabes, continuo leyendo el cómic de "The Sandman" de Neil Gaiman. Acabo de comprar el volúmen seis "Fables and Reflections" La primera historia consiste en un hombre que pretende suicidarse por sus fracasos, detras de él, regodeandose en la agonía de aquel hombre, se encuentra la hermana menor de Sandman, Despair. Despair invoca a su hermano Sandman (Para fines de la historia todos los hermanos tienen nombres que comienzan con Ds por lo que lo llama Dream) y lo reta a un juego, donde Sandman competira por el alma de este hombre en contra de sus hermanos Despair, Delirium y Desire.
Sandman ve a este hombre entre los sueños de aquel, es uno de sus atributos, y viene un pequeño dialogo que encontre fascinante:
Despair: What are you doing?
Dream: I am walking with him in dreams, trying to understand him.
Despair: Dreams? What are dreams? Dreams are nothing.
Dream: You say dreams are "nothing" sister? Without dreams there could not be Despair.
Finalmente Sandman le da un sueño al hombre. Este hombre resiste con su sueño los embates de Despair, Delirium y Desire. Sandman gana el juego, el hombre muere de viejo y la hermana mayor Death llega por él para llevarle al más allá, tomando prestado su sombrero ya que Death, una adolecente bastante traviesa lo encontro "padrísimo".
Esta historia de Gaiman nos lleva a entender la dualidad de las cosas. Un sueño te puede salvar de los hermanos de Dream, pero también la frustración de ellos te puede llevar directo a ellos. Por eso el hermano mayor, Destiny, jamas le desea fortuna a nadie, el sabe lo que va a ocurrir.
¿Que es mejor pues? ¿No tener sueños o tenerlos? Es una paradoja. En mi caso, creo que tenerlos, el tiempo que los negue Despair y Desire clavaron sus ganchos en mi corazón, esto es una hermosa alusión si lees el comic, como en general la producción anglosajona no es muy de tu agrado te tengo excelentes noticias, hay versiones traducidas al castellano que son fáciles de conseguir en tu caso, ahora que los acepto de nuevo me siento un poco más tranquilo. Tal vez mi problema no es tenerlos o no, sino encontrar uno nuevo. Lástima que simplemente no llega y algo es algo despues de todo.
Pare despedirme de esta entrada te dejo con otra frase que ya te he comentado en otras ocasiones pero creo que también es adecuada para este ensayo "chafa":
"Tell me Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those imprisioned in it could not dream of Heaven?"
The Sandman Volume 1 Preludes and Nocturnes
Que siguen ocultandome algo. ¿Que podria ser ese algo? Aquí es donde entran mis conjeturas traumaticas, tal vez mi propia carne se la cojío despues de todo. Sí, eso haria un peor mi dolor porque me recuerdas que mi propia sangre me jugo, quiero pensar que inocentemente, chueco, que cualquiera puede bajarme o ganarme una vieja por puro deporte (Y eso no lo supongo ya que en el caso en cuestión es puro deporte, porque adivina a cena de que "pedida de mano" fui el sabado pasado), que soy incapaz de hacer vibrar o sentir exitación o emoción etc. a una mujer que me guste, que definitivamente la persistencia es una virtud inutil y por lo tanto no deberia ser virtud, que existe el destino y que estoy muy jodido, que unos nacimos para ser mega cuates pero nunca amantes, que me tendre que conformar con lo que la vida me lanzé (y esas es otra historia que te contare en otra oacsión) y que no tengo derecho a pelear palmo a palmo lo que amo y mejor no le sigo porque si me voy a ver muy, pero muy enfermo.
No te estoy pidiendo explicaciones, que me digas si me esconden algo o no, no estoy diciendo que me están escondiendo algo, ni te estoy reclamando nada. Solo te estoy pidiendo que por favor trates de algún modo evitar recordarme todos mis mentados traumas. Tal vez solo no metiendola tan repentinamente saquemos esto adelante.
Sí, aun me pregunto a que santo bailarle o a que demonio venderle mi alma para poder al menos una vez en mi vida mandarle un mensaje cachondo y que me conteste como se supone le contesto a él o al menos a un a vieja que me guste. Tal véz así salga un poco del problema, no tenga que ceder siempre yo con las viejas y salir de putas.
Sí, estoy bsucando por doquier, lastima que mi pinche Pepe Grillo no me deja hacerlo por puritito deporte. Sabes, el que mejor esfuerzo por ayudarme lo ha hecho mi compa, me ha presentado varias chicas. Lo que si no es culpa mía ni de ellas ni de nadie es que simplmente no termino de encontrar alguien que me llene de alegría. Es más para que quede esto muy claro, como te explico, o mejor dicho te recuerdo, que esas han llegado a mi vida de manera muy escasa y que ninguna me ha hecho caso jámas. Si, dicen que es mejor haber amado una vez que nunca. Pero deberian complementar la frase, haber amado y ser correspondido una vez a nunca. Lástima que no es mi caso.
Parece que es cierto lo que dicean los reyes de antaño, esto es por derechos divinos. Sabes, continuo leyendo el cómic de "The Sandman" de Neil Gaiman. Acabo de comprar el volúmen seis "Fables and Reflections" La primera historia consiste en un hombre que pretende suicidarse por sus fracasos, detras de él, regodeandose en la agonía de aquel hombre, se encuentra la hermana menor de Sandman, Despair. Despair invoca a su hermano Sandman (Para fines de la historia todos los hermanos tienen nombres que comienzan con Ds por lo que lo llama Dream) y lo reta a un juego, donde Sandman competira por el alma de este hombre en contra de sus hermanos Despair, Delirium y Desire.
Sandman ve a este hombre entre los sueños de aquel, es uno de sus atributos, y viene un pequeño dialogo que encontre fascinante:
Despair: What are you doing?
Dream: I am walking with him in dreams, trying to understand him.
Despair: Dreams? What are dreams? Dreams are nothing.
Dream: You say dreams are "nothing" sister? Without dreams there could not be Despair.
Finalmente Sandman le da un sueño al hombre. Este hombre resiste con su sueño los embates de Despair, Delirium y Desire. Sandman gana el juego, el hombre muere de viejo y la hermana mayor Death llega por él para llevarle al más allá, tomando prestado su sombrero ya que Death, una adolecente bastante traviesa lo encontro "padrísimo".
Esta historia de Gaiman nos lleva a entender la dualidad de las cosas. Un sueño te puede salvar de los hermanos de Dream, pero también la frustración de ellos te puede llevar directo a ellos. Por eso el hermano mayor, Destiny, jamas le desea fortuna a nadie, el sabe lo que va a ocurrir.
¿Que es mejor pues? ¿No tener sueños o tenerlos? Es una paradoja. En mi caso, creo que tenerlos, el tiempo que los negue Despair y Desire clavaron sus ganchos en mi corazón, esto es una hermosa alusión si lees el comic, como en general la producción anglosajona no es muy de tu agrado te tengo excelentes noticias, hay versiones traducidas al castellano que son fáciles de conseguir en tu caso, ahora que los acepto de nuevo me siento un poco más tranquilo. Tal vez mi problema no es tenerlos o no, sino encontrar uno nuevo. Lástima que simplemente no llega y algo es algo despues de todo.
Pare despedirme de esta entrada te dejo con otra frase que ya te he comentado en otras ocasiones pero creo que también es adecuada para este ensayo "chafa":
"Tell me Lucifer Morningstar, what power would Hell have if those imprisioned in it could not dream of Heaven?"
The Sandman Volume 1 Preludes and Nocturnes
martes, 22 de mayo de 2007
Je ne comprend pas
Ok, this is it. I am fed up. What's next tell me what the Hell is next? Ok, I can live without a pic with the girl I like in her messenger window, Hell, but when I open the list of people waiting to be "my friends" in my Hi5 and find a bunch of guys that like VERY gay, that is when you really wish to turn this world into ashes. Do not misunderstand me, I is not that I hate gays or anything, I simply prefer to keep my distance. Hell, I have worked with some, business is business, but when you search for a girl and you are very unlucky with that, the existence ofsuch thing as a long line of gays waiting to be your friends is truly saddening.
Though I can't reallys ay they are gay, sincerely, their pics do not help a different hypothesis.
And this time I swer I did not ask what else could go wrong. Why can't I have a list of girls waiting to be my friend? Burn.
Though I can't reallys ay they are gay, sincerely, their pics do not help a different hypothesis.
And this time I swer I did not ask what else could go wrong. Why can't I have a list of girls waiting to be my friend? Burn.
miércoles, 16 de mayo de 2007
Don't Say It
I won't say if it is either good or bad. I will only say how I feel about a chain of events that have something in common and express a simply request.
Event 1 - My brother and his fiancee stated talking about what girls could they introduce to me. They basically said that X or Y could be an option. The fiancee said that they were good girls and my brother, approving the introduction and herein lies part of the problem, said they are foolish, but appropiate.
Event 2 - A co-worker said that x girl could be a nice option for an "application" because she seems to be a good and inocent girl.
Event 3 - Mom says that X girl could be a nice daughter in law because she is a very good girl.
Event 4 - A friend says that I should hang around with x girls because they are very good girls.
Event 5 - X girl and I start talking about tattos in a casual conversation. I mentioned that I simply dislike tattoos, on me or on girls, but I did not consider anyone having one a fool, I simply do not like them, note, this girl by the way is supposed to be innocent and good. This triggered the following; She says, "Oh, imagine you just got married and you do not know that your wife has a tattoo. What would you do? Of course you do not know because she, you know, should arrive virgin to the marriage, I mean you have not fucked her, so you are about to fuck her for the first time, that's how you find out! You see, you did not fuck her before, she is religious or something. Ok? You are a very decent guy so you have not fucked her, you wouldn't do that." Or something like that, but I think you understood. I have theories on why she concluded all that, but that's another story.
It is a very nice from everyone to try to appoint me good girls. I mean in a certain way everyone wants a good girl, yet... they basically have the innate ability of making me feel like the dumbest, and most naive asshole in the whole wide world. Unable to:
- Swept a women of her feet.
- Please a woman.
- She must be even dumber than me to accomplish the above. As if I hadn't had enough with the affair where basically someone very close who did not care managed to accomplish quite easily the above and not in a"very decent manner", under the definition understood in the above, "something" with someone that is very important for me.
So, even if it is your intent, noble indeed and I won't deny that, to please and make me happy by introducing, matchamaking, etc. good girls to me, please, JUST DON'T TELL ME THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE and do not tell me that I AM SUCH A NICE AND DECENT GUY. You make me feel like a loser. Thank you all for your kind attention.
Event 1 - My brother and his fiancee stated talking about what girls could they introduce to me. They basically said that X or Y could be an option. The fiancee said that they were good girls and my brother, approving the introduction and herein lies part of the problem, said they are foolish, but appropiate.
Event 2 - A co-worker said that x girl could be a nice option for an "application" because she seems to be a good and inocent girl.
Event 3 - Mom says that X girl could be a nice daughter in law because she is a very good girl.
Event 4 - A friend says that I should hang around with x girls because they are very good girls.
Event 5 - X girl and I start talking about tattos in a casual conversation. I mentioned that I simply dislike tattoos, on me or on girls, but I did not consider anyone having one a fool, I simply do not like them, note, this girl by the way is supposed to be innocent and good. This triggered the following; She says, "Oh, imagine you just got married and you do not know that your wife has a tattoo. What would you do? Of course you do not know because she, you know, should arrive virgin to the marriage, I mean you have not fucked her, so you are about to fuck her for the first time, that's how you find out! You see, you did not fuck her before, she is religious or something. Ok? You are a very decent guy so you have not fucked her, you wouldn't do that." Or something like that, but I think you understood. I have theories on why she concluded all that, but that's another story.
It is a very nice from everyone to try to appoint me good girls. I mean in a certain way everyone wants a good girl, yet... they basically have the innate ability of making me feel like the dumbest, and most naive asshole in the whole wide world. Unable to:
- Swept a women of her feet.
- Please a woman.
- She must be even dumber than me to accomplish the above. As if I hadn't had enough with the affair where basically someone very close who did not care managed to accomplish quite easily the above and not in a"very decent manner", under the definition understood in the above, "something" with someone that is very important for me.
So, even if it is your intent, noble indeed and I won't deny that, to please and make me happy by introducing, matchamaking, etc. good girls to me, please, JUST DON'T TELL ME THEY ARE GOOD PEOPLE and do not tell me that I AM SUCH A NICE AND DECENT GUY. You make me feel like a loser. Thank you all for your kind attention.
domingo, 8 de abril de 2007
Being Me
I erased my previous blog since it represented a past i wish to redeem. First it was used to stain the work done in the company I work for. Second, it was an aria of sorrow.
So my first entry in this case is to go back in the right track regarding a little someone, very special for me.
I am sorry for my attitude. Thoughy my sorrow persist now I realise thanks to the kind words of a friend that not all is lost and that you also yearn for the good ol' me.
Yes I will respect your choice but I will insist again but this time I will not grow desperate with time.. this time HE won't be involved. I'll start from the scratch. It is just a matter of being ME again. I am sorry for not being me. I will remind you of the lovely me.
Eh... I am not sure yet how or what I will do to accomplish the above. Thestrategy is clear but I lack the tactis but anyway I think I will sort something out.
So my first entry in this case is to go back in the right track regarding a little someone, very special for me.
I am sorry for my attitude. Thoughy my sorrow persist now I realise thanks to the kind words of a friend that not all is lost and that you also yearn for the good ol' me.
Yes I will respect your choice but I will insist again but this time I will not grow desperate with time.. this time HE won't be involved. I'll start from the scratch. It is just a matter of being ME again. I am sorry for not being me. I will remind you of the lovely me.
Eh... I am not sure yet how or what I will do to accomplish the above. Thestrategy is clear but I lack the tactis but anyway I think I will sort something out.
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