It still hurts. It has been two years and it still hurts. And the lies of everyone keep going on. They told me there is a brave new world outside. I have traversed it I have only found worse thing.

My own kin condemned her. Now the pieces have fallen onto their places. My kin has paid his words and he has faced a woman that is really "evil".

I was told to go out. I went out and I have only met women that live from sucking your blood from you. That is what I have met and the few who don't, well I simple have not find one that makes my heart live.

I have gone outside and I have only faced defeat after defeat. But I think it is Ok because I have not really liked or loved anyone so even if I obtain succes there will be no healing for my soul. What purpose does hunting as a sport serves? I have also realised that is "relatevily easy".

No, I still yearn for a dream. Impossible to fulfill.

They say I am alright, yet they search for the same. If I am alright they should just let things be as they are and then though would have the authority to halt me. They say that I should not grow desperate, but will never understand what is to have nothing, or a better way to say it, not have ever had something.

Promises of a brave new world for me. Only lies. And the the world's, my friend's, my kin's, my bosses', and everyone's else lies keep going on.

How long I am supposed to wait to know what it feels?

I only live because I am artificially kept alive.

"All I wanted was a piece of the night, but I never got my equal share."